The Other Drummer

If you haven’t seen it yet, Seriously, So Blessed! is a brilliant parody site, written by an unknown author, from the point of view of a young married woman living in Utah, Tiffany/Amber/Megan/Nicole (take your pick) who is married to JJWT (Jordan/Jason/Wes/Taylor) and life is, like, so good.

JJWT is going to law/dental/business/medical school and TAMN has her degree in hair dressing/teaching 2nd grade. The blog is about their perfect life being so busy doing all sorts of (self) righteous, Utah things.

Their marriage couldn’t be happier. In fact, nothing goes wrong in her life. And if you want a perfect life, start with the perfect man. Here are her tips for you ladies out there who are looking to meet your own JJWT:

• Avoid wearing sweats, BUT, if you’re gonna wear sweats, MAKE SURE there is something sassy written on your bottom. 

• TEXT IN CHURCH. This will make you look even cuter and way less boring…if you can do this with tonz of gum, EVEN CUTER!

• Do NOT get a short haircut and/or make your hair one color (BOAR-RING!). Long and multi-colored is your best bet (but, don’t bet, it’s practically porn).
• WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GO TO MORE SCHOOL, unless you want people to start calling you Yawnette. Think about it! Serious! How often do guys whistle and yell “Nice degree!” or shake there heads and say “What adorable knowledge”? EXACTLY.

Some other choice quotes:

In reference to being grateful for the Pioneers on the 24th of July: “If it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t even HAVE a Gateway!”

And…”It’s so fun to just go up to my family’s cabin and look at the things that make up our beautiful world and feel so greatful. Love just looking at nature at night while I sit in the hot tub with a 44 ouncer of Diet Coke (bad I know, I’m off it now), and my cute pink ipod blaring, and just BEING with nature, soaking it up til I get pruney.”

Brilliant. Anyway, great site. Check it out, and start from the beginning.

A hilarious description, courtesy of Engadget.

“Steve Jobs, presumably speaking from a hyperbaric chamber where he’s being nourished with an infusion of liquified developers-souls before his next public appearance, had a few interesting tidbits about the AppStore for the Wall Street Journal this morning.”

 

Oh, the drama. First, I freak out because I can’t get the specific notebook I want. Then my friend/distant relative Erin brings one up from Provo for me. Then I get the one I ordered online (and was too impatient to wait for) so I have two. THEN the one Erin brought up began falling apart, the cover ever so sadly separating from the spine, so I wrote Moleskine and ask/beg for a new one.

Being in Italy (Milan, darling) our correspondence was a bit delayed and with the language barrier a little choppy. However, they very kindly said that, since they’re handmade, sometimes these things happen and they’d be happy to send me a replacement if I’d provide my address, which I did.

Long story short, they ended up sending me two replacement notebooks, one with the cover written in Italian and one written in German, in addition to the original one I’d ordered online. While all this was happening, I found some good glue and was able to (mostly) reattach the cover of the original notebook which I’m still using.

I wrote Moleskine, told them they sent me an extra and offered to ship it back to them. They wrote back and told me not to worry about it. 

So now I have four total (three unused) softcover, ruled, pocket-sized Moleskine notebooks when just two months ago there was only one to be found in the entire state of Utah. Crazy how things turn out, huh?

Yeah. Sorry. I’m alive. Just sorta been neglecting my digital duties of late. Despite the fact that my posts here have dwindled and I’m down to about one post per week on LivSimpl, for some inexplicable reason I’ve decided to launch a new project called Write In My Journal.

The idea of Write In My Journal is this: I approach people who look interesting – like they have a story to tell – and ask them if they, knowing they’ll most likely never see me again, will write in my journal.
They’re free to write whatever they want. I may give them a prompt to start but ultimately it’s up to them.

There are so many people out there with such diverse backgrounds and perspectives and it’s absolutely fascinating to me. Have you ever looked at a person and thought, “I wonder what their story is? How did they get to where they are? What are their dreams?” I do. All the time. (Is that weird?) This is my chance to get to know some of them, even if it’s just a glimpse, and share their stories that would otherwise go untold.

So I carry around my trusty Moleskine notebook (which is falling apart – more on that later) and ask people to write in it, right along side all my own scribbles, lists and thoughts.

Please take a moment to check it out, add it to your RSS feeds and leave a comment or two. Oh yeah, and please tell your friends.

“Many suffer from the incurable disease of writing, and it becomes chronic in their sick minds.”

Such an apt description of myself!

Who’d have thought? There’s actually a medical explanation for my excessive desires to write. While it’s not considered a “disorder”, it is associated with epilepsy, mania and schizophrenics.

Figures.

Of course, I don’t really have hypergraphia. (Only mild tendencies at best.) I’ve never felt the need to write so urgently that I scribbled down a thought on toilet paper if nothing else was available. Conversely, when I get an itch to write it’s not easily ignored and, if I must confess, not something I want to ignore.

It’s somewhat encouraging to know authors of the caliber of Tennyson, Poe, and Dostoevsky all experienced hypergraphia. But it’s quite discouraging to think I have the drive but not the talent. Kind of a Rudy situation, but with much less skill, no coach and no hope of a movie being made about me someday.

After reading to this point in the post, my wife asked, “Would you rather be loony with more talent?”

I considered her question.

No. I’m fine being mildly loony and even less talented. I’ll continue pecking away at the keyboard and scratching away in my journal, grateful for the desire to write and grateful that desire isn’t to write about chopping people up in the bathtub and hiding their limbs under my floorboards. There are always methods of improving talent but there aren’t always ways of decreasing looniness. Savvy, Poe?

“A usually temporary condition in which a writer finds it impossible to proceed with the writing of a novel, play, or other work.”

First of all, I’m trying to start, not proceed, with a “work”. (Referring to this blog as “a work” is a being generous.) Still, it’s torture having anything to write about when you want to write. Granted, it’s not as bad as having to write and not being able to come up with anything. I’ve done that too and it stinks. But this is frustrating nonetheless.

Fortunately, I’m watching TV.

Did you know that if I go to a website I can quadruple my income? These happy people sipping champaign make $18,000 a month working part time. Dang it. Obviously, a college education was the wrong choice. Instead of spending years studying all I needed to do to get ahead in life was watch this infomercial and go to a website. What a fool I’ve been. If I don’t visit it I’ll never be able to take my kids to Disneyland. Seriously. I feel guilty for writing this much. I need to go.

If you haven’t heard already, J.K. Rowling has released the title of the next, and last, Harry Potter novel. Wanna find out what it is? Follow these directions:

“Go to her home page, click on the eraser and you will be taken to a room — you’ll see a window, a door and a mirror.

In the mirror, you’ll see a hallway. Click on the farthest doorknob and look for the Christmas tree. They click on the center of the door next to the mirror and a wreath appears. Then click on the top of the mirror and you’ll see a garland.

Look for a cobweb next to the door. Click on it, and it will disappear. Now, look at the chimes in the window. Click on the second chime to the right, and hold it down. The chime will turn into the key, which opens the door. Click on the wrapped gift behind the door, then click on it again and figure out the title by playing a game of hangman.”

Personally, I’m a little disappointed at the title. I can’t put my finger on why. I just am. Regardless, I’ll probably be at the midnight release when it does come out.

Thoughts on the title?