The other day I’m driving home and there was a little girl on the side of the road standing behind a card table with a sign hanging off the front which read, “Lemonade Kool-Aid 25 cents.” Smiling, I remembered back to summers when I was a kid and tried the same venture, so I pulled over, rolled down my window and said, “One cup please.”
The cute little girl smiled at me showing off a full set of braces. As she poured my glass I fished around for a quarter. As I looked up, she was holding out what looked like an incredibly small cup. I was a bit taken aback. It was
tiny. It was one of the little Dixie cups kids keep near the sink to use while brushing their teeth. It was this size (see below), but not this cool because it didn’t even have a TIE fighter on it.
I handed her the quarter and thanked her. Then I looked in the cup. It was only half full. The little girl skipped happily back to her table waiting for her next customer/victim.
I took my 1/16 gulp of sugary water and pondered my transaction.
After doing a little research, I found that the cup size she used was 3 oz. Filling it only half full meant she sold me 1.5 oz of Kool-Aid for 25 cents. If I’m doing the math right, that means the retail/street value of a pitcher of Kool-Aid is a little over $11, or $5.50 per liter.
Since we Americans don’t do the whole metric thing, let me put it in more general terms:
THIS LITTLE GIRL WAS SELLING KOOL-AID AT MORE THAN $20 PER GALLON.
Her overhead: nothing – she probably stole everything from her mom.
And she doesn’t pay taxes.
I think I’m in the wrong business.
Stand image courtesy of here.Cup image couresy of here.
If you haven’t seen it yet, Seriously, So Blessed! is a brilliant parody site, written by an unknown author, from the point of view of a young married woman living in Utah, Tiffany/Amber/Megan/Nicole (take your pick) who is married to JJWT (Jordan/Jason/Wes/Taylor) and life is, like, so good.
JJWT is going to law/dental/business/medical school and TAMN has her degree in hair dressing/teaching 2nd grade. The blog is about their perfect life being so busy doing all sorts of (self) righteous, Utah things.
Their marriage couldn’t be happier. In fact, nothing goes wrong in her life. And if you want a perfect life, start with the perfect man. Here are her tips for you ladies out there who are looking to meet your own JJWT:
- Avoid wearing sweats, BUT, if you’re gonna wear sweats, MAKE SURE there is something sassy written on your bottom.
- TEXT IN CHURCH. This will make you look even cuter and way less boring…if you can do this with tonz of gum, EVEN CUTER!
- Do NOT get a short haircut and/or make your hair one color (BOAR-RING!). Long and multi-colored is your best bet (but, don’t bet, it’s practically porn).
- WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GO TO MORE SCHOOL, unless you want people to start calling you Yawnette. Think about it! Serious! How often do guys whistle and yell “Nice degree!” or shake there heads and say “What adorable knowledge”? EXACTLY.
Some other choice quotes:
In reference to being grateful for the Pioneers on the 24th of July: “If it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t even HAVE a Gateway!”
And…”It’s so fun to just go up to my family’s cabin and look at the things that make up our beautiful world and feel so greatful. Love just looking at nature at night while I sit in the hot tub with a 44 ouncer of Diet Coke (bad I know, I’m off it now), and my cute pink ipod blaring, and just BEING with nature, soaking it up til I get pruney.”
Brilliant. Anyway, great site. Check it out, and start from the beginning.
Here are my thoughts on different types of eggs. Please let me know if I forgot any.
Scrambled: the best, especially on toast
Fried: Tasty, as long as they’re not overly runny
Omelettes: Mmmm.
Poached: don’t think I’ve ever had one, but they sound gross. Really, do we need to illegally hunt eggs? Sounds a bit excessive to me.
Hard boiled: No, no, no. Texture, smell…yikes.
Deviled: Never tried one, but the mere thought of a hard boiled egg mixed with mayo…yeah. No.
There you have it. In case you were wondering.
I was, of course, frustrated when my iMac crapped out on me. However, I decided to try and have an optimistic outlook. It would be a refreshing, liberating experience. Yes. I’d find that I could get by just fine without it, thank you very much. Kind of like when you go camping and remember there is life without the Internet and cell phones and it’s quite relaxing.
I was wrong.
It was terrible. For both my wife and me. Computer companies have done a very good job of getting us to center our lives around our computers (*ahem* i
Life) and I have admittedly become very dependent. From music and podcasts to calendars and the Internet, it was a royal pain to be without a computer for a month.
What do I do about this habit, this way of life? Do I slowly adapt and find new ways to do things to become more independent? Of course not. I plan on buying a laptop as soon as I can.
*Sigh* I may never learn.
It’s a little late in posting, but Walmart isn’t going to tip-toe around with uber political correctness this “holiday season”. They’re going to be saying “Christmas” in their store, to their customers and in their advertising. *GASP!* Merry Christmas and all that. Who’da thought?
That’s the second thing Walmart has done this year that’s impressed me (the first being their “green” push, not only internally but with their suppliers as well). Maybe by Walmart not bending to the obnoxious minority (as well as going green) others will follow. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m actually considering shopping at Walmart this year. Lower prices weren’t enough to convince me, but hearing “Merry Christmas” just might be.
