Who pays someone to take photos of their kid in front of the ugliest mural west of the Mississippi? These bozos, apparently. I threw up in my mouth a little when I realized what they were doing.
Just think about the traumatic childhood this kid will inevitably have with parents who are so misguided. These are the type of people who let their kid juggle kitchen knives because they’re afraid telling him not to do something will damage him emotionally.
Nut jobs.
I couldn’t figure out why the balls weren’t shooting out of the top of Jake’s new toy. It took me a second to notice the watch my dad got me when I graduated college clogging the tube.
Then it dawned on me: that orange part at the top could just as easily have been a toilet bowl. You get my drift.
OK. So here’s the story: work. Actually, I’m not sure why the *&%# I haven’t been writing as much lately. Work has definitely been more insane than usual. And by “usual” I mean “than it was last October.” Yes, work has been taking its toll and my brain has been mush. And Brain Mush is not conducive to writing.
Honestly, Call of Duty 4 has been my “decompression” activity lately. Yes, sniping terrorists not only is good for world peace but it’s much more mindless than writing. Also, writing isn’t a spectator sport – to really dig into something I need to shut out everything else and focus. However, my wife will watch me play COD4 and be a second set of eyes which has me promoted to rank of First Lieutenant II. I now have a sweet new assault rife with a red dot scope. Thank you honey!
I’m also getting old and fat, which means getting to the gym is much more important which means getting up early which means getting to bed early which means less blogging. Curse my love handles!! Curse them!
OK. Lunch break is over. Back to the grindstone.
True story. Their yippy little Chihuahua dog was devoured by a 16-foot python. And, like any good parent, mom let the kids (5 and 7 years old) out in the yard to watch.
“Now see how the snake is squeezes tighter each time Yippy inhales? That way Yippy can’t exhale to take a breath and will slowly die. Stop crying! This is nature!”
As if that weren’t bad enough, the family knew the snake had been hanging out in their yard.
“It actively stalked the dog for a number of days,” said Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo.
“The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog’s bed, which was a sign it was out to get it,” he added.
Thanks for that tip Mr. Snake Expert.
If I’d seen a python coiled up where my dog slept, I would probably keep my dog (and kids) indoors. Then again, I’m a new parent so I’m probably overly-cautious about such things. Maybe once you have a few kids the idea of them playing in the yard with the dog and the scrub python isn’t such a big deal.
CNN story here. Image from here.
As I watched my wife do a full improvisational song and dance routine spanning genres from stage and the silver screen to the delight of my eight month-old son, I realized I could never be creative enough to be a mother.
